I remember where I sat at lunch in the eighth grade. I remember looking over at the table beside mine, and walking across the lunch room to talk to Hailey. I don't really care to remember that though. Nor do I have anyone that I'd want to call "most memorable" in the senior class of Hume-Fogg. I don't feel that anyone has done anything worth remembering. Those that I want to remember, I will, and we will keep in touch, I'm sure.

I feel badly for saying that, but what's it going to matter in a year, no one is going to care. I hope that is true, because I am counting on that.

I can wait for two thirds of a year to pass. Then I will take my life off hold. I'd rather not. But Waffle House with de grits... high five is worth remembering. Even if family is committed to care, it's better than econ. I don't know what it is or what to do, and I do care. But I'll just wait, because then I can do whatever it is that is right.

I'm just so angry, and I can't listen to my music. Damn inconsideration.
Plus, I make rational decisions--always.

What the hell is wrong with all these people?

House

You can't be angry with God without believing in Him too.

Planes

There was a plane crash in South Carolina this morning. Before today, I looked at plane crash history, and I read that all the most recent plane crashes happened in other countries, that is of course until today. I don't really like planes at all, and I don't really know how flying to other states by myself is going to work out. I'm also not sure to whom I will worry about this.

Procrastination

It's just better for me to get things done. Or I just don't have anything better to do, because no one calls me back, typical.


Also, I appreciate that my computer has spell check on the internet, that's good for me.

Much Changed

I still would like someone to talk to.

And I would still like people to get out, experience something. I would like that very much. I feel slightly responsible for the lack of knowledge of my peers. It makes me angry though, because they don't want anymore.

Also, I am checking out. I'm completely okay with that too, because the truth is that I'm not checking out at all, I'm figuring this out, this life that I've been taught. I'm making it my own, and I don't understand why that's so wrong?

So here's what I've learned: I'll never be the one who knows what's going on.

Or actually, I feel like I can't even properly word a sentence. I know that I want someone who is passionate about change--social change maybe? Perhaps the same thing I'm passionate about. I need them to be their own person. I need them to be okay without me but still be so happy about us. I need them not to be desperate. I can't deal. I just can't. I need them to be able to focus on their purpose, their passion. I need them to know they have a passion and purpose. Maybe not put it first, but a very close second, or a tie.

So much pressure makes me nervous. Unable to handle life. I just can't function. As good as I thought things were, I'm sure now that it isn't the right thing.